Before we begin, I'd like to say that this is the first part of a multi-part essay about The Cure. (Really, it is. I promise.)
This piece was originally going to be much longer, if you can believe it, but on the advice of my therapist, who advised me against thinking too deeply about trauma and triggers for *too long* at a time without coming up for air, I've decided to split this up into a small series over the next few weeks or so. This is aided by the fact that I recently obtained an actual mouse and keyboard set at my home again, so I can write for you all without doing it in bits and pieces at work and/or typing frantically in my notes app. I actually think that this very small change, along with the reintroduction of caffeine into my daily routine, is quite likely to increase my productivity by a significant margin.
As I am sure you are all sick of hearing by now, I have a condition called existential OCD.
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So let's talk about why it's so hard for me to write about The Cure.
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So I did exposure therapy.
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(If that sounds weepy and self-indulgent, wait til you hear the rest of my exposure-therapy slate; I'm supposed to be able to rewatch Neon Genesis Evangelion by next June, rewatch Serial Experiments Lain and the original French Martyrs by next fall, and play SOMA, Omori, and Nier: Automata at... some point!)
So here is how this is going to work. I'm going to divvy up The Cure's discography into small, manageable chunks, about which I will release essays on a semi-regular basis. I feel like I'm asking for trouble if I promise weekly updates, but I should at the very least be able to make biweekly updates happen. And theoretically, there's nothing that should stop me from writing about other topics in the off-weeks as well.
As of now (though of course this is subject to change), here is how I hope to arrange this sequence of events:
CHUNK 1: 1979-1982. A period of immense and rapid artistic growth for the band as they evolve from their (insert cliche post-punk descriptor word a la wiry, nervy, twitchy, etc) beginnings and grow into the band that would create Pornography, possibly the most beautiful descent into hell ever captured on tape. Within this section of the essay I also hope to touch on the history of goth as a whole and its impact on the modern heavy music scene. I hope to have this published by October 10th.
CHUNK 2: 1983-1987. A time of flux for the band as Robert Smith experiments with new wave and synthpop, tortured psychedelia, and an ambitious double album that seeks to reconcile their stately pop aspirations with their inaccessible gloom-rock leanings. Within this section I hope to touch the fork in the road between alt rock and metal that the post-punk underground collectively explored in the late 80s. I hope to have this published by October 24th.
CHUNK 3: 1988-1992. A period marked by the release of perhaps the two most widely-beloved LPs in The Cure's catalog. This represents the conclusion of my personal journey with the band, at which point I'd like to take stock and write about what this era of the band represents and why it seems as though, at least to me, there is a marked difference in vitality from this point on, despite many of the records Smith & Co. have released since being quite good. I hope to have this published by November 7th.
CHUNK 4: 1993-2000. A period of confusion for the band, seeing them flailing wildly throughout the middle of the 90s and attempting to find something of a happy medium by the end of the decade. (estimate unknown)
CHUNK 5: 2001-present. The conclusion of our time spent with The Cure, at least so far. An exploration of their two most recent efforts, their 2004 self-titled and their 2008 4:13 Dream, and a case made that they're two of the more underrated records in the band's catalog. (estimate unknown)
Finally, since it is about to be October, during the off-weeks of this project I hope to publish some odds-and-ends grab bags touching on subjects as disparate as more music, movie, and game recommendations for this time of year (in particular, look out for much more comprehensive representation of rap, metal, electronic, country, jazz, and classical this year) and a longer personal essay about the conflicted emotions I and many others have about true crime, which seems especially pertinent now in light of the recent allegations against everyone's favorite Sasquatch, Ben Kissel of The Last Podcast On the Left. (I'm sure you could argue this, but I don't see a world in which he comes back to the show; his actions might have forfeited his right to talk about victims ever again.) I hope to have these ancillary pieces published by October 17th and Halloween.
As for the first week of October, I am unsure of whether or not I'll be able to get anything out at that time, for the simple reason that I am currently feeling physically ill for the first time in like, a year. I reintroduced caffeine to my regular routine so I have to imagine that the trade-off for increased focus, motivation, and (particularly at work) competence and executive function is a hit to my immune system. I'll try and get something out-- I got myself a Steam Deck, so I'm finally getting into emulation and indie PC titles in a way I've long wanted to but lacked the means to do so. It might be fun to write about some bite-sized horror games and emulation experiences, if anyone is interested in that, and it'd be relatively easy to do that while attempting to recover.
Until then, I appreciate you reading this piece. It might seem characteristically self-indulgent, but this is maybe the most of myself I've ever revealed for y'all to see, and I'm not necessarily 100% comfortable with that, but I think it's important to be transparent as this project creeps its way into existence. Please let me know if there's anything in particular you'd like me to cover and address as we move forward. Until then, I hope everyone is having a wonderful autumn so far.
-xoxo, Ellie
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